The Sergeants' Mess

An aerial view of RAF Uxbridge.  The parade ground is at center, flanked by barracks buildings and the station headquarters at rear.  (image from Hillingdon.gov.uk)

Yesterday I had occasion to go searching for A Very Important Piece of Paper (which I found) and that meant diving into the highly organized file system here at El Casa Móvil De Pennington, which consists of a few cardboard boxes… one of which resides in the upstairs sleeping area. In so doing I came across a quart-sized Ziploc baggie filled with miscellanea from past lives I had deemed worth saving. Tucked inside that baggie was this:
 

That's my membership card from the Sergeants' Mess at RAF Uxbridge, a memento that evoked all sorts of fond memories as I looked at it yesterday. First and foremost, being assigned at Uxbridge was quite unlike duty at other American air bases in the UK, all of which went by names like "RAF Mildenhall," "RAF Upper Heyford," "RAF Chicksands" and the like. That would seem to imply the bases are owned and operated by the Royal Air Force but they aren't… they are RAF in name only (as required by the Status of Forces agreement) but are USAF bases in all other regards. Uxbridge, on the other hand, was a true RAF installation… home of the RAF band and the Queen's Color Squadron, among other things. So… that membership card you see above meant I was an affiliated member of the RAF Sergeant's Mess, which is (or was) as different from a USAF NCO club as night is to day.

The RAF does things differently than the USAF… in more ways than one. One of the more interesting things, in my book, is their rank structure in the "other ranks," aka enlisted personnel. Whereas USAF maintains nine enlisted grades, the RAF really only have three… aircraftsmen (of which there are three grades… Aircraftman, Senior Aircraftman, and Leading Aircraftman), Corporal, and Sergeant. The RAF rank of Sergeant is roughly equivalent to what the USAF calls its senior enlisted grades… Master Sergeant, Senior Master Sergeant and Chief Master Sergeant. And it's a big deal, too, becoming a Sergeant in the RAF is a lot like making CMSgt in the USAF.

So… the Sergeants' Mess at Uxbridge was an institution more like a gentleman's club than a mid-scale beer joint…which is a term that pretty much describes most NCO clubs I was a member of back in the day. When I say "gentleman's club," I'm describing an organization housed in a stately three story old brick building dating back to the 1930s with thickly carpeted hallways, a walnut paneled smoking/reading room adorned with oil paintings of Old Dead Warriors from the Empire Past, furnished with sumptuous leather chairs accompanied by highly polished walnut side tables and brass smoking stands, all clustered around a large stone fireplace. The formal dining room is crystal chandeliered, its dining tables covered in starched white linens and set with regimental china and silver. The mess attendants… RAF Aircraftsmen whose assigned duties are to serve in the mess… are attired in formal white mess coats and serve meals with simultaneous precision and witty banter. The daily menu is limited in scope, featuring no more than two entrees that are well prepared and tasty. Lunch in the formal dining room was an experience, believe me. I'm told that formal dinners and parties were also "not to be missed" events, as well… but to my everlasting regret I never had the occasion to attend any of those functions. I should have.

There was a bar, of course… no self-respecting mess in any service would be without one. But, as might be expected, the bar was more akin to a military themed pub and could hold about 40 people comfortably in addition to providing informal dining, aka "pub grub." The bar was the place The Second Mrs. Pennington, my friends and I usually took our meals when we went to the mess for lunch. I should mention TSMP was employed as my commander's secretary for two years… we worked together in the 2119th Communications Squadron HQ building during that time. There are some pretty good stories in this space, but they will go untold… mostly. One thing I will say is the denizens at the bar in the Sergeants' Mess took great pleasure in pulling TSMP's chain, early and often. The young TSMP was a bit naïve and trusting in her youth, tending to take people quite literally and was thus fair game for tall tales, ribbing, and other such bar stuff… sergeants the world over are quite good at this sort of thing and the RAF types are better than most. TSMP, for her part, took it all in stride and usually gave as good as she got… once she figured out what was going on.

But there were other moments as well, such as the time the Regimental Sergeant Major (a British Army type) from Buckingham Palace was on station to select and brief RAF members to be assigned to the Queen's Guard, ceremonial duty that rotated on a monthly basis between the RAF, the Army, and the Royal Navy. The Sergeant Major was in the bar at the Mess for lunch and a pint or two when we dropped in that particular day. This gentleman looked for all the world like he stepped right out of Central Casting… tall and ramrod straight in physical appearance, handlebar moustache, resplendent in his absolutely perfect medal-bedecked uniform, and as courtly as any stereotypical British gentleman anywhere. We were introduced to the Sergeant Major and TSMP was immediately smitten... and he took to her as well. I, in turn, was bitten by no small amount of jealousy as we spent the entire lunch hour being entertained by the Sergeant Major's tales, accompanied by TSMP's rapt attention and her oohs and ahhhs. It was literally weeks before I heard the last of that lil episode… and I will admit the Sergeant Major had the best "military bearing" of any soldier, sailor, airman or Marine I ever met.

End note: I googled the Uxbridge Sergeants' Mess and came upon this redesign project (pdf) from a UK architectural firm… which is undated but is definitely after I left the station in 1983.